Knowing
by MyAngelMariska
Summary: She shook her head and threw him out, slamming the door behind him, she locked it and she walked into the kitchen, dumping the dinner she worked so hard to make down the drain, flipping the garbage disposal. She hit the counter and let the tears fall.
1. Prologue

**Knowing**

_I don't own any of the characters from the show Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, however the plot and dialogue you are about to experience are completely out of my sick, demented, and twisted (in a good way) mind. _

**Knowing**

She sat there, at her desk, staring off into space, still remembering that night. The night that her life changed forever, and she wasn't sure that it was for the better, in fact she was sure that it wasn't for the better.

_Elliot glared at Olivia, who had daggers in her eyes, staring back at him. "If you want to say something, spit it out damn it!" She shouted at him, standing in her apartment, clutching her bathrobe tight. _

_Elliot opened his mouth to speak but he closed it and shook his head. "No. No. I know how this ends, Olivia, I'm not going there."_

_Olivia scoffed. "Please, Elliot, tell me. Tell me what you're so angry about, the fact that I made you dinner or the fact that I threw myself at you and you decided that you had to go." She spat, hurt evident in her voice. _

_Elliot rolled his eyes and spoke under his breath. "The fact that you do it for every guy you fucking meet."_

_Olivia raised her eye brows and stepped forward. "Excuse me, Detective Stabler, but could you repeat that a little louder."_

_Elliot stepped closer to her in her face. "I said the fact that you do it for every guy you fucking meet." He said harshly._

_The next thing they knew they were both in pain. His cheek and her hand. She slapped him as hard as she could, and it felt damn good. _

"_Get the fuck out of my apartment Elliot. Leave, and don't think about coming back." She said grabbing his things and shoving them in his chest, pushing him towards the door._

_Elliot grabbed them. "Fine Liv. But this is your MO. You play happy home maker and happy whore and then you go bitchy on the poor guys, its no wonder you haven't found a guy to settle down with yet."_

_Olivia fought the tears, his words feeling like bullets ripping through her heart. She opened the door and looked at him. "Fine, I'm a bitch, and a whore, if that's what you think... then you don't know me... you don't know me at all, and I can't..." She shook her head and threw him out, slamming the door behind him, she locked it and she walked into the kitchen, dumping the dinner she worked so hard to make down the drain, flipping the garbage disposal. She hit the counter and let the tears fall, and they fell hard._

_She flipped off the disposal and she turned around and sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest as she sobbed. She felt alone, more alone than she ever felt in her entire life. The only man she had ever trusted just tore her heart out. He tore it out and chewed it, threw it on the ground and stomped on it. _

Olivia heard someone calling her and she snapped out of it, looking at her co worker, Amanda Rollins. "Hmm?" She asked, looking at her new friend.

Rollins sat down on the edge of Olivia's desk and looked at her. "You okay Benson?" She asked, concern in her eyes.

Olivia took a deep breath. "I um... Yeah, I'll be fine." She whispered a small smile on her face nodding.

Amanda stood up. "How are we going to stick together if you're not going to be honest with me?"

Olivia rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry you're right." She said gently looking up at Amanda. "What do you say we go get a drink?" She asked with a small smile. "My treat?"

Amanda shook her head. "Oh no... Not with you like this, its my treat. Come on, grab your stuff." She said with a smile, and the two women walked out of the precinct together.


	2. Girls Night Out

**Knowing**

_I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented and twisted (in a good way) mind. Enjoy!_

**Knowing**

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><p>Amanda and Olivia walked into McIntire's Pub and sat down in a booth. Amanda smiled at their waitress who handed them menus, then looked at Olivia. "Whatcha drinkin' Benson?" She asked in her noticeable Georgia girl drawl.<p>

Olivia took a deep breath. "Anything more than fifty proof." She said with a small smile.

Amanda nodded and looked at the waitress. "Jack on the rocks... two." She said with a smile. The waitress nodded and walked away while the two new friends looked over their menus. Amanda spoke up first. "Want to split the appetizer platter?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "You read my mind, Rollins." She said with a smile.

Amanda looked at Olivia. "You can call me Amanda, Benson."

Olivia chuckled. "Then you can call me Olivia, Amanda." She said and winked.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. "Okay, so what was going through your mind tonight? You were starin' off into space for like... five minutes." Amanda asked, genuinely concerned.

Olivia took a deep breath and let out a silent sigh. "It was a fight I had with my partner... Former partner." She spoke, trying to control her emotions, running a hand through her hair. "Elliot and I have always had this... Chemistry." She said softly. "But we never acted on it because one he was married, and two there are rules, fraternization rules, in the NYPD. Its not illegal, per say, but its highly frowned upon to be romantically involved with one's partner. It's a whole... Commitment thing, One PP thinks that if you're involved with someone sexually, or romantically, that you'll start to pick them over the job."

Amanda looked at her. "Okay, and now that he's not your partner... the marriage is the only thing stopping you?" She asked, slightly confused, since she had never met the famed Elliot Stabler.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Nope, only thing standing in my way of Elliot is Elliot. He got a divorce a few months after he left." She said softly. "I loved Elliot Stabler, I have for some time. My world revolved around him, and there was no room for any other man in my life. Between the job and Elliot..." She shrugged. "So, a few weeks ago I had him over for dinner, a dinner that I cooked... Amanda, I don't fucking cook! Okay, the pots and pans in my cabinets have dust and cobwebs on them to the point where I have to wash them at least twice before they're usable."

Amanda smiled. "Sounds like my kitchen." She said with a small laugh.

Olivia nodded. "Welcome to the job." She said, rolling her eyes, remembering when she was a rookie in the unit. "Anyway, I had him over for dinner, and I was supposed to be dessert." She said slightly blushing, but quickly controlling it. Olivia Benson DID NOT blush.

Amanda looked at her. "And he was smaller than expected, couldn't preform... what?" She asked, trying to get this out of Olivia. She loved workplace gossip... and having a friend.

Olivia laughed gently. "I wish I knew." She said gently. "I wish it was something like that because I could have lived with that. No, he decided he didn't want me, he decided to leave, right before anything happened. Then he called me a bitch and a whore. I slapped him... pretty hard and threw him out of my apartment. I haven't spoken to him since." She said softly.

Amanda's face wrinkled up in pain. "Ouch." She said and just then the waitress came back with their drinks. "Ah, perfect timing." She said and she lifted her glass. "To strong, independent, single women." She said with a small smile.

Olivia smiled and clinked her glass with Amanda's. She took a sip of it and closed her eyes, letting the cold liquid run hot down her esophagus. She smiled and opened her eyes, looking at Amanda again. "Okay, so... spill. What's the dirt with you and Amaro?"

It was Amanda's turn to blush. "What... what do you mean. We're colleagues, partners, friends." She shook her head and quickly took a sip of her drink.

Olivia smiled and took another sip of her own drink. "Honey, please...I had that look in my eyes. For almost thirteen years I had that look in my eyes. I know that look. You have the hots for Amaro." She said with a smirk. She saw Amanda blush again. "Hey, its okay. He's good looking, he's sweet, and there's definitely a connection there."

Amanda shook her head. "No, he's married. He's... and there's that anti-fraternization policy..."

Olivia chuckled. "I looked into it. Worst that'll happen is you'll trade partners. You'd be with me and Amaro will be with Fin." She said with a smile. "And sure, he's married to a woman who is serving in Iraq right now, and who he thinks is cheating on him. You're allowed to like him, you're allowed to have feelings for him, but trust me, for your own sake... either do something about it or let it go. Don't let him become your entire world, like I did with Elliot. Don't let him be the only man in your life, either go for it, or forget it, but living in the middle, on that line, is so hard to do... and it will eventually drive you crazy." She said softly. "And then you'll be so damaged, that you'll see guys you want to be with and you just send this... vibe." She said softly.

Amanda took a long swig of her drink. "Yeah... thanks for the tip." She said gently. "What got you into Special Victims anyway? Its such a hard job."

Olivia nodded. "Hard it is." She said softly. "My mom was a rape victim." She said gently. "And I was the result of that rape." She said with a shrug, taking another sip of her drink. "What about you, why did you get into Special Victims?"

Amanda took a deep breath. "My best friend, back in Atlanta, she was gang raped and nearly beaten to death by a group of thugs. The cops never caught the bastards who did it." She said, pursing her lips. "I wanted justice for all the girls like her." She said softly. "Say, have you ever been..."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Raped? No, came pretty damn close, but not quite." She whispered. "I was undercover in a correctional facility. One of the guards... he tried, and nearly succeeded. He didn't take into account that Fin, who was undercover too, was my partner or that I was a cop. We got the bastard, but not on my assault. I... I don't know that I'll ever be over it, but I've processed it and moved on." She said softly.

Amanda took a deep breath. "In Atlanta, a few weeks before I left, I collared a perp and was interrogating him. I was going at him alone, trying to get him to break, and before I knew it he had me against the wall with his hand down my pants. It all happened so quick I... my mind went blank. Next thing I knew, my Captain was in the room pulling him off me." She said, fighting the tears. "Its why I left. My team didn't trust that I'd have their backs if I couldn't protect myself. They never said it, but they didn't hide the look in their eyes. Its why I left." She said downing the rest of her drink.

Olivia reached across the table and held her hand. "Have you talked to anyone?"

Amanda shook her head. "No, I... I'm fine."

Olivia shook her head. "No, you're not. I can see it. You have to talk to someone." She whispered. "It gets easier. Trust me."

Amanda looked up at Olivia and she nodded, then raised her hand, summoning the waitress. "Can we get another round, and the appetizer sampler. And uh, keep the drinks coming." She said with a nod.

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoy! Please review here or on Twitter SVUConnoisseur :)**


	3. Visitation

**Knowing**

_I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented, and twisted (in a good way!) mind. Enjoy!_

**Knowing**

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><p>It had been months since Olivia and Elliot had spoken, but not for lack of Olivia trying. He just wouldn't answer her texts, her phone calls, her emails. It was like he wanted nothing to do with her. Just as she was about ready to give up hope a handsome man by the name of David Haden walked into the squad room. She was skeptical for the first five seconds, and then it was like something clicked, and when he asked her out for drinks, she accepted. They really hit it off, and so far everything was amazing. David Haden was the man she had been looking for, for so long.<p>

She remembered the night they first slept together fondly, it wasn't that long ago. And she still felt as if she was glowing from it. She was seeing him again tonight and she couldn't wait. Her heart fluttered at the thought. She was thinking, a smile on her face, staring off into space, when she heard her name. She looked at Amanda, who was trying to get her attention and she cleared her throat. "Yes?" She said softly, slightly embarrassed to have been caught in a day dream.

Amanda smiled. "Captain told me to take you along. We got a vic at Mercy." She said and looked at her strangely. "You okay?"

Olivia took a deep breath and grabbed her jacket. She nodded. "Wonderful." She put her jacket on and followed Amanda out to the car.

Amanda looked at her, and once the elevator closed and they were alone she looked at Olivia. "So, how are things with you and the EADA?"

Olivia looked back at her and furrowed her brow, trying to act like her knees didn't go weak at the thought of him. She shook her head. "What are you talking about? There's nothing…"

Amanda cut her off. "Benson." She looked at her. "Come on, you aren't fooling anyone." She said seriously.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Do I make it that obvious?"

Amanda nodded. "It's kinda hard to miss your day dreams in the middle of the day, all the time." She smiled. "I can't blame you, he's hot."

Olivia smiled. "His looks are a plus, Amanda." She said gently. "He's probably the sweetest man I've ever met, he knows I have trust issues, intimacy issues." She said and she shook her head, a big goofy smile on her face. "And yet, he's more than willing to take things at my pace." She rested her head on the elevator wall. "I've never felt like this."

Amanda looked at her. "Girl, you got it bad." She said seriously.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I should call him, let him know we caught a vic. We were supposed to see each other tonight, and I just hope this isn't going to be an around the clock case." She said gently, taking out her iPhone. She dialed his number and smiled as she heard his voice. "Hey, yourself." She said and bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, David we caught a case. I'm hoping it won't be an all-night thing." She said softly. "Me too." She said softly. "Bye." She hung up and looked at Amanda and blushed. "I've never had this feeling before."

Amanda looked at her. "A tooth ache?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Funny." She spoke sardonically. "No, I've never had so many butterflies fluttering around in my stomach all at the same time, just from hearing someone's voice for a little over thirty seconds." She took a deep breath. "I really do got it bad, huh?"

Amanda nodded. "You ain't the only one honey." She said blushing.

Olivia smirked. "Oh yeah, how are things going with you and Amaro?"

Amanda shrugged. "I still haven't mustered up the courage to say anything. I know things are shaky in his marriage right now and I really, really don't want to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't want that guilt."

Olivia and Amanda stepped off the elevator as it opened and she looked at her. "If he's going to go after you, take you up on whatever offer you put out there, his marriage is already gone. Amaro isn't the kind of guy that's going to cheat on his wife because things are shaky. He's going to wait until he knows that things aren't going to work. He's going to wait until the divorce." She said gently. "But don't keep these feelings inside. They'll tear you apart."

Amanda smiled softly. "They're already starting to." She said softly. "My mama and daddy divorced. He has a little girl. I can't…"

Olivia shook her head and stopped her. "No, Amanda, it takes two to tango." She said seriously. "And you never know, maybe he feels the same way about you." She said seriously. "Knowing is half the battle."

Amanda shook her head and let out a breath. "Do you ever take your own advice?"

Olivia smirked and took a deep breath. "When it comes to love, no I don't. That's probably why I've been single for so long."

Amanda smirked. "Until that hunky DA walked into the room."

Olivia looked at her. "Not right away, took him a few hours for him to ask me out for drinks." She smirked and winked.

Amanda smiled. "Either way, it's good to see you happy. I mean, since whatever happened with your partner, ex-partner, whatever you want to call him, you've been really down. You've been really distant. I know that I haven't known you for that long, but I could tell something was wrong. I mean, you're a legend in sex crimes precincts across the country. You and Stabler. The way you were when I first got here isn't the Olivia Benson I thought I would meet. But this woman is. Strong, confident, happy, ready to kick ass and take names, when you're not fantasizing about DA Hunky-Pants." She smirked.

Olivia blushed a bit. "I am happy, for the first time in a long time. I'm genuinely happy." She nodded.

Amanda smiled. "Well, let's go get what we can on this vic, and get you home to your hot date."

Olivia took a deep breath. "Only if you tell Amaro."

Amanda opened her eyes wide. "At, at work?" She shook her head. "No, not at work, I can't do that." She said seriously. "I can't at work. We could get reprimands in our jackets." She took a deep breath.

Olivia nodded. "Fair enough, but you have to tell him. You have to tell him soon." She said seriously. "If you don't, the Olivia Benson you walked in on will be the Amanda Rollins you become."

Amanda nodded. "Got it." She spoke softly and they walked out to the car, heading over to Mercy General.

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><p>They walked in and flashed their badges, the woman behind the desk at the nurse's station pointed them to a room around the corner. Amanda and Olivia walked around to the room, knocking lightly on the door before walking in. Before them, they saw a young blonde woman, beaten black and blue, frail, and scared. Amanda stopped in her tracks, the young girl took a deep breath and looked a little closer at Amanda.<p>

Amanda spoke first, finally finding her voice after a short time. "Jo?"

The woman in the bed nodded. "Mandy?"

Olivia looked between the two women, a look of pure confusion on her face, but before she could speak, Amanda spoke again. "Jo, honey, what are you doing in New York?"

Jo took a deep breath. "I came here to see you. I begged mama not to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise. I was on my way to the squad where you worked when…"

Olivia looked and spoke up. "Okay, can someone please explain to me what is going on?"

Amanda looked at Olivia. "This is my little sister, Jo. Apparently she's here to see me. Jo, this is my partner, Olivia Benson."

Jo looked at Amanda and then to Olivia, then back to Amanda. "Olivia Benson your—"

Amanda nodded. "Yeah, let's not go there."

Olivia looked at them and she smiled softly. "Amanda, can I talk to you for a minute, outside?" She asked gently.

Amanda nodded and looked at Jo. "We'll be right back, sweetie." She hugged her younger sister and walked out into the hallway with Olivia.

Olivia took a deep breath, once the door was closed she spoke softly. "We have to get this case reassigned, Amanda." Olivia put her hand up when she saw Amanda go to protest. "It's a conflict of interest. You cannot work your sister's case. You're too invested in it."

Amanda looked at Olivia and she nodded. "I know, but what are we going to do?"

Olivia put her hands on Amanda's shoulders. "You are going to go back into that room. You are not going to take your sister's statement, you're going to be there for moral support. I'm going to call Cragen and get Amaro or Fin down here. Then I'll get the nurse and have them do a kit."

Amanda nodded and went to go walk into the room, when Olivia stopped her. "Amanda, I mean it. Don't take her statement at all, not until I'm in there." She said.

Amanda smiled softly. "I got it. I'll see you in there."

Olivia nodded and pulled out her phone calling Cragen, and explaining the situation. She got off the phone with him and got a nurse to start a kit. She walked into the room again and walked over to the two sisters.

"Okay, Jo, I just got off the phone with our captain. He's sending over another detective. In the meantime, I need to take your statement, and I have a nurse coming in to do a rape kit. Your sister can stay here with us if you'd like."

Jo nodded. "Yeah, but why is another detective coming over? Is two not enough?"

Olivia smiled softly. "Because you're Amanda's sister, we can't have her working on your case. It's a conflict of interest. Our captain is sending over one of our colleagues."

Jo nodded. "Okay, but Mandy can stay?"

Olivia smiled gently. "Yes, she can stay." She pulled up a chair and sat down at Jo's bed side. "Okay, Jo, I need you to tell me everything that happened, from the beginning. And I know it's not something you want to think about but I need you to be as detailed as possible."

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><p><strong>AN: **Sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've had a lot of changes going on in life, and they're still coming! I'll be updating my stories a lot more from now on, hopefully. Just keep on reading! If you like this, please review. Reviews give me incentive!


	4. Comfort Me

**Knowing**

_I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented, and twisted (in a good way!) mind. Enjoy!_

**Knowing**

* * *

><p>Amaro and Fin walked into the hospital room not long after Olivia finished taking Jo's statement. What this man did to her was beyond words, and Olivia wanted to find this bastard and make sure he got fifteen to life in prison like he deserved. It was a miracle that Jo was conscious, not to mention alive. The perp bashed her head into the wall, raped her, cut her body with a knife, and kept her clothes. The poor girl was left broken, bleeding, and naked in an alley, with no cell phone. Luckily a passerby saw her and called for help.<p>

Olivia looked behind her and saw both Fin and Amaro and she furrowed her brow. "Cragen sent both of you?"

Fin shook his head and pulled her aside. "Go home Liv. You've been working for three days straight, you need a good night's sleep."

Olivia shook her head. "No, I want to find this guy and make sure he gets the max."

Fin took a deep breath. "I know Liv, but you can do that a lot better with fresh eyes."

Olivia looked up at him. "At least let me stay for the kit. Two men sitting by her side as the nurse does the kit? Talk about uncomfortable."

Fin sighed. "Fine, but then you need to go home and sleep."

Olivia nodded. "Deal."

Olivia kept her word and stayed with Jo as the nurse did a rape kit. Once the kit was finished Amaro and Fin decided to let Jo go home with Amanda, figuring she'd been through enough, and they wanted her to feel safe. Olivia went home. Realizing it was still relatively early, she decided to call David. While she was tired, there was no way she could go home and go to bed by herself. Not after what she saw that night.

She climbed into a cab and gave them her address. She picked up the phone and called David. She smiled when she heard his voice.

"Olivia."

"Hey. I just left the hospital. Turns out the vic was one of our detective's sisters. I'm on my way to my place and I really, really would love it if you could be there. I need someone tonight."

She could hear his smile through the phone. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Olivia let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you David." Her voice was soft, breathy, almost like a whisper.

"Anytime Liv."

They hung up after that, and it wasn't long before the cab arrived at her apartment building. She paid him money, giving him a little extra for a tip, and she got out and went up to her apartment. Once she was inside she kicked off her shoes and slipped off her coat. She hung it up on her coat rack and heard a knock at the door. She looked through the peep hole and smiled.

"David." She said as the door opened. She threw her arms around him, the emotions of that night finally hitting her, but she didn't want to totally break down. She smiled softly and pulled away from him, letting him come inside. "Thank you, so much for coming over." She felt the tears in her eyes, but she was determined to fight them.

David saw the tears too, and he pulled her into a hug. "Liv, you don't need to be strong for me." He whispered, kissing the top of her head. "It's okay to cry."

And with that, Olivia let go. And David did something no man had ever done for her before. He picked her up, and carried her to the couch, her head buried in his shoulder, her body shaking with sobs. He sat down and held her close, gently rocking her, rubbing her back. "It'll be okay, honey. Let it out."

Olivia heard him say honey and her stomach did flips. Just being in his arms was helping. She loved how safe she felt in David's arms. Within a few minutes her sobbing had stopped. She looked up at him, her eyes puffy and red, her face tear stained. "Thank you." She whispered. "I probably look a hot mess right now."

David brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "You look beautiful."

Olivia smiled and rested her forehead on his and closed her eyes. "Has anyone ever told you how truly amazing you are?"

David smiled. "I think you've mentioned it a few times." He kissed her forehead and smiled, content holding her.

This is what Olivia loved, that he didn't constantly want sex, nor did he expect it. Any other man she would call this late at night would come over expecting her to want to jump into bed. But not David, he was happy to come over to help her forget a rough day, a rough case. Not that Olivia would try to kid anyone, yes, they had sex, and yes it was amazing. But there were days she just wasn't in the mood, like tonight. She had been earlier, but seeing Jo in the hospital, listening to what happened, it crushed that mood.

David smiled at her. "What's going through that beautiful head of yours?"

Olivia smiled. "You." She said softly, a blush rising on her face. "And how much it means to me that you came over tonight, and how much it means to me that you're holding me right now, not trying anything."

He smiled. "If I were to try something, then I would have gone back on my word to you. I told you, when we first started this, that I know this would be hard for you, but I would be here for you, and I would wait, and we would take things at your pace."

Olivia smiled. "I knew I could trust you." She whispered. She snuggled up against him and let out a small, content sigh.

David smiled, holding Olivia in his arms, gently stroking her hair. This made him happy. He didn't need sex, or to make out like teenagers all the time. This was nice. This was all he needed, this was all he wanted. He looked at the time and kissed her forehead. "It's getting late babe."

Olivia's heart fluttered, her stomach did flips again. She smiled brightly, but didn't speak. "Mmm."

"You need to get some sleep. You have work tomorrow."

Olivia smirked. "So do you."

"Touché." He said back.

"I need a shower."

David smiled. "I have a better idea." He whispered. "Bubble bath. You and me, a couple glasses of wine."

Olivia looked at him. "No sex?"

David smiled. "I won't try anything. I'll just hold you, help you wash your hair and your back to relax you, and maybe steal a few kisses."

Olivia smiled. "You can't steal what I give away freely."

David rested his forehead against hers and looked deep into her eyes. Olivia brought their lips together; a small smile graced them as they kissed. David held her closer, held her tighter. Olivia's hand moved from his chest, up to his cheek. After a few minutes they pulled away, their foreheads still pressed together, their eyes still closed. Olivia spoke first. "Kissing you makes all the bad parts of the day wash away." She whispered.

David smiled. "Same here honey, same here."

Olivia pulled away a little to look at him, a big smile on her face.

"What?" He asked, frightened he'd done something wrong.

"That's the third time tonight that you've called me a pet name tonight. I like it." She smiled

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm glad you do, and I fully intend on calling you babe, honey, sweetie, and a ton of other pet names from now on. Unless we're working."

Olivia kissed him again quickly. "Get used to them yourself, babe."

He smiled. "Come on, let's take that bubble bath."

Olivia smiled. "You just want to see me naked." She said, playing with him.

David smirked. "That is one of the plusses." He kissed her cheek and smiled. "But I could argue the same with you."

"Guilty." Olivia said and giggled. "Do you want to get the wine while I draw the bath?" She asked gently.

"Sounds perfect, angel."

Olivia smiled and got up, helping David up off the couch and walked to her bedroom. She stopped and turned and looked back at David. "Don't keep me waiting too long." She winked and walked through her bedroom to the master bath and started running the bath, putting in the lavender vanilla bubble bath and letting the tub fill up. A few minutes later David came walking in with two glasses of red wine. She smiled at him and took a glass of wine and raised it a little. "Cheers."

David did the same. "Cheers." They clinked glasses and took a sip. Olivia put the wine glasses down and wrapped her arms around him.

"I think we need to take our clothes off." She whispered.

David smiled and kissed her softly. "I think you're right." He whispered.

Olivia kissed him back and broke the kiss gently. "Help me?"

David smiled. "Only if you help me."

"Gladly." She smirked and ran her hands down his chest. She took off his t-shirt he was wearing, lifting it over his head. He did the same. They got each other's pants off, leaving them in their underwear.

David pulled Olivia close and kissed her gently, unhooking her bra, sliding it off her shoulders. She smiled against his lips, sliding her hands down his sides, taking his boxers with her hands, feeling David slide his hands down her back, and the lace of her panties fall down her legs to the floor. She stepped out of them and pulled back from the kiss. David looked her up and down and smiled. "God, Olivia Benson you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He whispered, caressing her face.

Olivia smiled. "You're the most handsome man on Earth, David Haden." She said and took his hand in her own. "Come, sit with me." She whispered.

The climbed in the bath, Olivia sat between David's legs, resting against him. She closed her eyes and smiled. "Mmm. Is this heaven?" She asked softly.

David smiled. "If it's not, it's the closest thing to it."

Olivia smiled and took a sip of her wine, and craned her neck back to look at him. He smiled and leaned down and kissed her. She moved her hand back, resting it behind his head as she kissed him back, letting out a soft moan against his lips.

This was perfect, right here, sitting in a bubble bath, kissing the man that she had deep feelings for. She didn't want to say the "L" word yet, it was still too soon, but she could see herself getting there with David. She broke the kiss softly and smiled. "Thank you, for comforting me tonight." She whispered softly.

He smiled and kissed her shoulder softly. "Any time, Angel, any time."

Olivia smiled and leaned back against him, closing her eyes. This was bliss.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, a little bit of lovin' for Olivia. Not a whole lot. Fear not, this will turn into an E/O romance at some point. But I'm having a little fun with our friend David Haden for right now! :) Please R&R, here or on Twitter. SVUConnoisseur :)**


	5. Invasion

**Knowing**

_I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented, and twisted (in a good way!) mind. Enjoy!_

**Knowing**

* * *

><p>Olivia and David finished up their bath then made their way to the bedroom. Olivia put on his t-shirt and a pair of panties and David slipped into his boxers. Olivia smiled and kissed him again, wrapping her arms around him. She smiled into the kiss, and then she heard it.<p>

"What the fuck?"

Olivia pulled away with a gasp, turning around. "Elliot, what the hell are you doing here?"

David looked from Elliot to Olivia. "Elliot, your ex-partner, Elliot?"

Olivia nodded and glared at him. "How did you get in here?" Elliot held up his key. "That is for emergencies Elliot! I would hardly call this an emergency."

Elliot sighed. "I wanted to apologize to you. I come in here and find you with him?"

Olivia shook her head. "Elliot Stabler, you don't own me! You walked out of this apartment months ago, after calling me a bitch and a whore. I've tried calling you, texting you, emailing you. You never answered. I moved on. David and I are seeing each other." She said seriously.

Elliot looked at Olivia. "What, you love this guy now?"

Olivia looked at David and then at Elliot. "I, we've only been together for a few weeks." She said, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes again. "I don't think I'm ready to say that I love David yet, but I think… Maybe I could." She said moving closer to David, feeling his arm around her. She rested her head against his chest, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

He moved closer. "You told me you loved me, and we weren't even dating."

Olivia looked at him, tears starting to stream down her face. "I did love you, Elliot. For a long time I loved you, and then you decided to walk out, that I wasn't good enough. I knew you a lot longer when I finally told you I loved you. But David, he rushed over here tonight. We had a bad case and he held me when I cried." She said, fighting the urge to just break down and cry. "He comforted me, he made me feel something I never have before."

Elliot looked at him. "So what, he banged you again?"

David put his hand up, feeling Olivia curl into his chest, feeling her body shaking. She was crying now. "Hey, man. Enough, alright? Not that it's any of your business, but no, we didn't sleep together tonight. I'm taking things at her pace. I care for her, a lot. I don't want to lose her."

Olivia turned her face back to Elliot, her eyes red and puffy, her face tear stained. "Get out of my house, Elliot. And don't come back until you've figured out whatever the hell is going on with you. I don't know if you're having problems with Kathy or the kids and the stress is just making you an ass, or maybe you miss work, but figure it out. I'd love to have you as a friend, but I don't associate with people who call me a bitch and a whore; so please, get out of my house."

Elliot didn't move, he stared at her for a minute. David stepped toward him. "You heard her. Leave."

Elliot glared at David then turned away and left. Olivia heard the door close and she wrapped her arms around David and cried. David rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. She looked at him. "Please, don't leave." She whispered. "Please. I know I didn't say that I love you and…"

She was cut off by his lips. "Olivia, I'm not going anywhere." He whispered when he pulled away. "Stabler doesn't scare me. Actually it kind of pissed me off that he called you that. He obviously can't see in here." He said, tapping on her heart softly.

Olivia sniffled and smiled softly. "I meant what I said. I'm not ready to say the "L" word yet, but at the rate we're going, I can see myself saying it to you." She smiled softly.

David smiled. "And I meant what I said, I care so much about you Olivia. I don't want to lose you. And I can see myself saying the "L" word to you as well."

Olivia smiled softly, feeling David wipe away the tears from her face. "Thank you." She whispered and she hugged him. She felt him hold her tight and she smiled, taking a deep breath. He rubbed her back gently. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

David pulled away a little bit. "Come on, let's lay down." Olivia smiled and nodded. They climbed into her bed, under her covers and she snuggled up against him, her head on his chest.

"I love this." She whispered. "Laying here with you, in your arms; it makes me feel safe, wanted, and happy."

David smiled and kissed her forehead. "That's exactly how I want you to feel." He whispered. "Let's get some sleep." He said softly. "We both have long days ahead of us." He said gently, wrapping his arm around her.

Olivia smiled and she looked up at him. "I think we should disclose." She said softly. "God forbid something goes wrong, something comes up. I don't want to lose you."

David smiled and kissed her gently. "We can disclose tomorrow." He smiled and looked into her eyes. "I want to be able to look into your eyes forever."

Olivia smiled and kissed him softly. She rested her head back on his chest. "Elephant shoes." She whispered softly.

He looked at her. "Elephant shoes? I wasn't aware they made them."

Olivia smiled and chuckled. "No, next time you look in the mirror, mouth the word elephant shoes. See what it looks like your mouthing."

David mouthed it to himself thinking about it. "Oh!" He smiled and kissed her gently. "Right back at you baby." She smiled. After that, they settled in and fell asleep. Both of them had smiles on their faces.

* * *

><p>Elliot left Olivia's apartment, left her key on the dining room table. He was mad, not at Olivia, he was happy that she seemed to find someone who truly cared about her. He wasn't happy that it wasn't him. He wanted to be the one to comfort her after a tough case. He wanted to be the one who wiped away her tears. He wanted her to be wearing his shirt, not this guy David's. He had no one to blame but himself.<p>

Olivia still hit the nail on the head, even though they hadn't spoken in months. Kathy was stressing him out. Fighting for custody of the kids, only now he had nothing to distract him. He'd turned to drinking. He was sober, both times he was with Olivia, but it seemed that was the only reason he would put the bottle down long enough to get sober. He didn't want Olivia to see him drunk. Because he was drinking, whenever he was sober, he was irritable. That was what was wrong with him, and he knew he needed to get his head straight.

But right now, he needed to get the image of Olivia crying out of his head. He'd seen her cry before, but he had never seen her cry because of him. Tonight he was crying because of what he had done, and what he said. That, more than anything, hurt. Elliot loved Olivia. He wished he could sit her down and explain that it wasn't that she wasn't good enough for him, it's that she was too good for him.

Elliot stopped talking to her, never answered her calls, her texts, or her emails, because he was always drunk, and he knew better to call or text, or communicate in any way other than face to face when he was drunk. He went to Olivia's apartment to tell her all of this, but when she saw David there with her, he just got angry, and at no one but himself.

Elliot walked back to his apartment alone. Kathy left him, took the kids. He now lived in a little studio apartment, taking a break from police work, and work in general. Killing that kid really messed him up, but he knew he would need to start working again eventually, he needed money to survive. To pay rent, buy food. He decided he would start going to precincts tomorrow. He wasn't sure how easy it would be to get a job, with his jacket. He realized he may not be able to stay in the city. He may have to go upstate, or even to a different state all together.

Maybe going to a different state would do him good. Maybe he too could move on, the way Olivia had.

Who was he kidding. His marriage ended for the pure and simple reason that he had fallen in love with Olivia. It wasn't her fault, it was his. He was the one that fell in love with his partner, and he could do nothing to stop it. He had fallen in love with Olivia, and now it seemed that he lost her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for reading. I figured I would bring Elliot back. Now, it wasn't romantic, but we also got an explanation as to why he did what he did. Please R&R! Here or on Twitter- SVUConnoisseur.


	6. Disclosure

**Knowing**

_I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented, and twisted (in a good way!) mind. Enjoy!_

**Knowing**

* * *

><p>Olivia woke up the next day wrapped in David's arms. She let out a small contented sigh and kissed his chest, a smile on her face. He woke up soon after and looked into her eyes. He spoke, still groggy. "Good morning beautiful."<p>

She smiled and kissed his lips. "Good morning, yourself, sexy." She whispered against his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He wished for a moment they could both call in, and stay like this all day, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing. This is how he would spend his days if he had a choice. He pulled her closer and ran his hands down her sides. She smiled and pressed her body closer to his, sighing as she pulled away from him.

"I don't want to go to work." She whispered, her head on his chest, knowing that if she kept kissing him, but she knew if she didn't stop, she would be in bed with him for the rest of the day. "I want to stay here like this for the rest of my life." She said softly.

David smiled and kissed the top of her head, almost glad that she stopped kissing him, he knew that they wouldn't get out of bed if they kept kissing, and he knew they both had work that they had to do. "I want to stay like this forever too." He whispered and rubbed her back gently. "But we have to get up, we have work to do, and we're disclosing today."

Olivia smiled and nodded, looking up at him. "What do we say? Just that we're dating, and it's serious?"

David smiled gently. "Something like that. As long as we tell our higher ups, if any of us get promotions or if anything happens to either one of us, we won't lose each other."

Olivia smiled. "Good." She kissed him again and pulled away, pouting a bit. "Will you come over again tonight?" She asked softly, rubbing his chest.

David smiled and leaned up and kissed her lips gently. "I have every intention of coming over here again tonight to hold you in my arms, and kiss your lips."

Olivia smiled and kissed from his chest to his lips. "Elephant Shoes." She smiled and looked into his eyes.

David caressed her face softly. "Elephant Shoes." He whispered back with a smile. "Come on, let's get going to work. I want to tell the world that I'm with you." He smiled and kissed her once more.

Olivia smiled and got up, pulling him up and smiling. "Stay here." She whispered.

"I can't really go anywhere, baby. You're wearing my shirt."

Olivia smirked and looked into his eyes. "I know." She giggled and got out her work clothes, black slacks and a nice blouse. She grabbed a bra and walked into the bathroom, she changed quickly. She walked back out and handed him his shirt.

While she was in the bathroom he got his jeans back on from last night. He smiled and slipped on his shirt. Olivia looked at him and smiled. "You look amazing in jeans in and a t-shirt. So sexy." She whispered, pulling him closer to her by the belt loops in his jeans.

David rested his hands on her hips and smiled. "The way your work clothes hug your body, hug your curves, they're incredibly sexy, but I think you look sexy in anything, and nothing." He whispered, kissing her ear lobe.

She smiled and closed her eyes, letting out a soft moan. "Mmm, keep that up and you won't need to come over tonight, because you won't be leaving." She said, running her hands over his chest.

David smiled and rested his forehead on hers. "I have to head home so I can get ready for work baby." He whispered and hugged her.

Olivia smiled. "I have to do my hair and make-up. So I don't scare the perps into confessing. I think that would be considered coercion."

David shook his head. "You look amazingly beautiful right now, your hair back, no make-up on. You're the most beautiful woman in the world Olivia."

She blushed and kissed his lips. "Go home, go to work, and then come back here tonight and tell me how beautiful I am and uh, who knows what might happen." She smirked, walking her fingers up his chest as she spoke.

He smiled and took her hands in his own. "I look forward to whatever may happen." He whispered and kissed her lips one more, and smiled. "Walk me out?"

Olivia smiled. "Gladly." She walked him to the front door. She handed him his coat and kissed him once more, passionately, leaving him wanting more. She had a tendency to do that. She pulled away and smiled. "Bye baby, elephant shoes." She said with a smile.

David kissed her cheek. "Elephant shoes, right back at you, baby." He whispered and he left. Olivia smiled and closed her door, resting against it, a huge smile on her face. She let out a sigh and walked to the bathroom. She finished getting ready, fixing her hair, into a neat pony tail, and putting on just a little bit of make-up. She took a deep breath and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She grabbed her purse, and her keys and walked out to her garage.

* * *

><p>She climbed into her car and drove off to the station. She pulled into her parking spot, turned off her car and walked into the precinct and walked right to Cragen's office, knocking on his door.<p>

"Come in." She heard from the other side.

Olivia opened the door walked in, then closed the door behind her. As much as she loved her squad, she needed this to be private. "Cap, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Liv. What's up?"

Olivia smiled gently and took a deep breath, sitting down across from him. "Well, I don't really know how to say this." She closed her eyes and composed herself. "You know that Executive ADA who came in here a few weeks ago, David Haden?"

Cragen leaned forward on his desk a bit, resting his elbows on the desk. "Yeah, what about him?"

"Well, since that case, David and I have been spending a lot of time together, off the clock, and we've started seeing each other." She looked Cragen in the eyes. This man was like her father, the closest thing she's ever had to a father, and that was what made her so nervous about telling him.

Cragen nodded. "Okay."

"And we've gotten kind of serious. I mean, we haven't gotten to the point of saying, I love you, yet, but at the rate we're going, I think we're going to get there soon."

"Olivia, does he make you happy."

Olivia smiled brightly. "He does, just hearing his voice, hell just saying his name makes me so happy that I just… I can't stop smiling. He came over last night to comfort me. Jo's case hit me really hard, and I really just needed someone there with me. And he was. Cap, no one has ever been there for me like that."

Cragen smiled and nodded. "Well, then I wish you the best."

Olivia smiled. "So, it's that easy, disclosing."

Cragen took a deep breath. "Almost. I just need you to fill something out, so I can send it over to One PP."

"So what, they want a record of my relationships now?"

"They just need to know when the relationship starts and ends."

"Well, if I'm lucky, the relationship won't end." She said softly, her heart racing at the thought.

"I hope that it doesn't, Liv. I don't think I have ever seen you this happy."

"I've never felt this way before, Cap. Part of me is so excited, and so happy, and still part of me, it scares the living hell out of me."

"Just be you, Liv. Just be you, and I know that everything will be fine."

Olivia smiled softly and took the paperwork from Cragen, and filled it out, quickly and accurately. She handed it back and smiled. "I better get out there and get back to work on Jo's case."

"Liv, I don't know that you should work Jo's case. It really got to you last night."

"Hell yeah it got to me. Cap, this is Rollins' little sister. She's still a baby. She needs someone Cap."

"She has Amaro and Fin."

"Cap, she was brutally beaten and raped, she was cut with a knife and left bleeding and naked in an alley. She has Amaro and Fin, but I think she needs a woman on this case. Someone she feels safe with. Amanda can't be on the case, that's her sister. But I can. I'm not family."

"Liv, I get it, but I think that Fin and Amaro should work the investigation."

Olivia shook her head and threw up her hands. "Fine, they can work the investigation. But I want to be the one to talk to Jo, let me handle the vic. She's scared out of her mind Cap. She needs a woman."

"You talk to the victim, let Amaro and Fin deal with everything else."

"Fine." She turned and walked out, getting her coat, her purse and her keys and she took a deep breath.

She went over Amanda's apartment; she knew that Jo was staying there while the investigation was going on. She knocked on Amanda's door. "Amanda, its Olivia, I need to talk to Jo."

Amanda opened the door and smiled gently. "Hey Liv, Jo's taking a nap right now. She barely slept at all last night."

Olivia nodded. "I can't blame her. I can't say I would have slept well either. Um, have her call me when she wakes up." She said with a small smile. "Fin and Amaro are investigating. I'm doing all interaction with Jo, so if she needs anything, day or night. Have her call me."

Amanda took a deep breath and smiled. "Thanks, Liv. I will. So, what are you doing for the rest of the day if Fin and Amaro are investigating this?"

Olivia smiled. "Good question. I'll probably go back to the squad and type up my part of the DD-5, see if Cragen needs anything else then go home and work on some sort of romantic dinner for David and I for tonight." She said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Oh, mister attorney." She joked.

"We disclosed this morning. Cragen knows now, and I am just so ready to shout it from the rooftops. He came over last night. This case really, really hit me hard. He held me, made me feel better."

"I better be in the weddin'."

Olivia chuckled. "Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here." She smiled. "Okay, well, I better go, but seriously, have Jo call me, if she needs anything. Even if it's just to talk, I know she has you, but sometimes it's easier with someone who isn't related to you. But maybe you can tell her about what happened to you; maybe you can help each other." She smiled and gave her friend a hug. "And you can call me too, any time, day or night. I mean it."

Amanda nodded. "We'll call if we need anything."

Olivia smiled and left, going back to the squad room to type up her DD-5. Once that was done, she went back to Cragen's office to see if he needed anything. Since he didn't she asked if she could just head back to her apartment, and if he needed anything to call her. He agreed and she nodded, thanking him.

* * *

><p>Olivia headed back to her apartment, and decided she would cook something nice for David for dinner. She pulled out her phone and sent him a text message.<p>

***Home from work early. Cooking us a romantic dinner to celebrate. :]***

She smiled and went to the little bodega down the street to pick up ingredients. A couple steaks, potatoes, milk, butter, some broccoli and a couple bottles of red wine, for cooking and drinking. She went home and got started on cooking, peeling and chopping up the potatoes and putting them in a pot with some water to boil, when she heard her phone go off again. She smiled seeing it was a text from David.

***Sounds delicious baby, can't wait to see your beautiful face. ;)***

Olivia smiled and bit her lip. She looked at the clock and realized it was only an hour until David would be home. While she was waiting for the water to boil, she ran into her room and changed into her favorite little black dress, a pair of black stilettos, and touched up her make-up, putting on a red lip, instead of a pink one, and she smiled. Once she emerged, ready to see David, she started the steaks, seasoning them first and then searing them on both sides before putting them in the oven, and making a gravy from the pan, which she deglazed with the red wine. She put the broccoli in a pan with water and started to make it. Once the potatoes were done she mashed them, adding milk and butter. She seasoned them with salt and pepper. She finished off the gravy and took a deep breath. Just then there was a knock on her door and she smiled. "David." She whispered.

She rushed to the door and opened it, seeing David at the other side, holding a bouquet of red roses. She smiled and let him in. He took a deep breath. "God, it smells delicious in here baby."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you." She smiled and kissed him softly. "Let me put these in a vase, and I'll serve us." She whispered and smiled. She took the roses and put them in a vase with some water, and then got out two plates, putting a steak and some mashed potatoes and gravy and broccoli on each. She walked over to the table. "I'll be right back with knives and forks." She whispered in his ear after putting the plates on the table, one in front of him and one across from him where she would sit. She walked back over in the kitchen and grabbed two forks and two steak knives. She also grabbed two napkins and walked back over and put the napkin down by him, then his knife and fork. "Oh, the wine." She went and got two glasses and the open bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass. She sat down across from him and smiled. "Okay. Now, I hope you like it." She said with a smile. "Bon Appetite." She smiled, putting her napkin on her lap, picking up her knife and fork and cutting into her steak.

David did the same his eyes on her the whole time. She was stunning tonight. She was stunning every night. His disclosure had gone well, and he wanted to take her right there, on the table. He wanted to ravish her the way she deserved to be ravished.

They both finished eating around the same time. Olivia smiled and got up, taking their plates to the sink. David got up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "What are you doing?" She asked with a giggle. "The dishes."

He smirked and kissed her neck. "Leave them. We can do them later. Right now, I'm hungry for dessert."

Olivia giggled and turned around, looking into his eyes, kissing him passionately. "Mmmm. I'm ready for dessert too." She whispered against his lips. He smiled and lifted her up, setting her down on the counter, resting his hands on her thighs, never breaking the kiss.

Olivia wrapped her legs around him and nipped at his bottom lip, the kiss deepening, heating up. "Bedroom." She said into his mouth. He lifted her again and spun her around, she let out a soft moan and smiled against his lips. He walked into her bedroom, closing her door with his foot. He put her down and smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thanks for reading. The next chapter will be some David/Olivia LOVING! Keep reading, and please review, here or on Twitter SVUConnoisseur


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